F9 (2021) Spoiler-Filled Review/Rant: A Literal Middle Movie...

 

The "Fast & Furious" franchise has its highs and low as each installment is released. While I managed to enjoy the previous two films the most as of late, the latest film of the absurd series is perhaps its most divisive yet for various pros and cons, which all evens out to a pile of mediocrity.

Positives:

• The flashbacks of Dom and Jakob Toretto. While the pacing and storytelling isn't the best in these sequences, I love the use of film grain and the competent actors they got to portray young Vin Diesel and John Cena.
• The main returning cast and characters. I won't go too much in detail, since there's too many characters to list, but Dom, Letty, Roman, Tej, and Ramsey are as enjoyable as ever.
• The directing by Justin Lin. Lin continues to add a variety of locations and hues to the film that makes this franchise so visually interesting.
• The cinematography by Stephan F. Windon. While he can have too much shaky-cam at times, Windon knows how to have a cinematic sense of scope in establishing shots and action highlights.
• The music. While Brian Tyler's score is as generic as you can get for this franchise, it feels appropriate for the film to get you pumped up. The licensed soundtrack is also a banger with the continued use of English/Latino rap and hip-hop.
• The action sequences. From the shootout in Central America, to the hand-to-hand fights in Tokyo and the hideout, the chase between Dom and Jakob, and the climax with its use of powerful magnets, the action sequences are as great as ever with the stand-out easily being the one-man-army stand-off with Dom and a bunch of mercenaries. It's so brutal and awesome that Captain America will be eating his heart out. I don't care how unrealistic they can be, they are just so fun to watch.

Negatives:

• The story itself. While the premise seems fun with the bitter reunion between Dom and Jakob, the story itself contains some weird convoluted plot-lines and questionable plot holes and moments. The cause for the death of Dom and Jakob's father is confusing in how completely unavoidable it was, the betrayal with Jakob and the villain is so forced that I don't even understand why he was betrayed for in the first place, the reason for Han surviving his apparent death is completely glossed over, and there's literally a scene where Cardi B and her girls could have killed the villains so early into the plot rather than pretending to have arrested Dom. While the stories of the previous films could have their contrived moments and over-the-top writing, they do try to have a coherent sense of storytelling that doesn't confuse you or make you question the logistics of the narrative. It doesn't help that the pacing of the movie can be so slow at times due to the flashbacks or minor side characters.
• The tone and humour. This is F&F at its campiest and meta yet, and it's a problem because of it. Yes, this franchise is silly and over-the-top, but by the time characters are talking about their survivability and the cliches, it's basically losing any sort of investment. The fact that no one huge still hasn't died or stay dead, with the film itself teasing about big sacrifices and deaths, is unreasonable. While there are a few laughs to be had, the humour is either too pop-culture centric or out-of-touch in context with the film.
• The villains. While Jakob is a decent, personal villain for the group, John Cena is miscast apperance-wise to Dominic and the lack of charisma is strange for the novelty of Cena as an actor. Charlize Theron as Cipher barely does anything in the movie and is only there to remind the audience that she is still going to be the villain for the last few films. And lastly, there's Thue Ersted Rasmussen as Otto, the main antagonist who wants to control the world because he's a spoiled, rich, Slavic brat with enough resources and men that it makes him the generic bad guy that takes more screen-time than Jakob. While Rasmussen's enjoyable performance keeps Otto from being the worst villain from the franchise, his involvement is akin to the sin "Furious 7" committed with its villains.
• The new and returning faces from the franchise. Jordana Brewster as Mia continues to have no importance in the films as even her role as sister does nothing for Dom and Jakob's character and she still hasn't proved her worth other than being Brian's baby momma. Kurt Russell as Mr. Nobody barely shows up in the film as he only serves as a connective thread to certain characters and it's still unclear if he's dead or alive. Helen Mirren as Queenie Shaw just drives Dom to Otto's party in one scene and drive super fast as the punch-line. The old-ass Lucas Black as Sean Boswell from "Tokyo Drift" is practically a different character from before as he's now a rocket engineer and pilot all of a sudden? And the last returning face is Sung Kang's Han. For all of the build-up and love the character has to be brought back to life, what does he do in the story? Literally introduce a brand-new character/MacGuffin for the movie. It almost begs the question why bring any of these characters back if they either continue to do jack-shit or just act completely different altogether. As for the new faces, there's only two worth mentioning. Micheal Rooker as Buddy, an old mechanic who knows Dom and Jakob from childhood, is just there to just tell Dom that Jakob is in London, despite there being no reason for why Jakob would tell Buddy where he would be in the first place. Lastly, there's Elle, played by Anna Sawai. She's the literal key to the literal plot device that is introduced from a literal marketing ploy for the movie. Sawai is a good actress, but the future films really need to give her an actual character.
• The CGI. While there's some great stunts shown through the film, the quality of the CGI can be hit-and-miss as things can look too cartoony or unpolished. Shots like Jakob's car going through a building, Tej and Roman in outer space, the drones, and other notable moments can have some pretty bad visual effects given the advancements of technology and the $200 million plus budget. The sequence in outer space looks strangely bad, especially when compared to various other movies with outer space scenes with far lower budgets.

"F9" serves itself as a pit-stop for the rest of the franchise in terms of building up the cast of characters for the final two or so films, which makes it as bland as a necessary stop at a gas station in real life. While I enjoyed the creative style of the flashbacks, the central returning cast of characters we all grown to love, Lin's directing, Windon's camerawork, the music and soundtrack, and the action sequences as a whole, I can just watch better entries from the same franchise to have my fill. The story is overly-convoluted and messy with various plot holes and questions that pile on each other, the tone gets way too goofy and meta for its own good that any sense of emotional or serious moments are removed, the humour is way too geared towards pop-culture references and oddly-timed moments, the returning cast is either different in characterization to fit into the narrative or just completely useless, the villains are pretty weak due to Otto being the central with Jakob and Cipher being pushed aside from the plot, the new characters are just literal MacGuffins or signs pointing to the next objective, and the CGI can be pretty unpolished at times for a big-budget movie. The film just has too much excess and bloated negatives to keep itself as a good movie, both as an individual product and as an installment in its own lengthy and notorious franchise.

Verdict: 5/10. The most "mid" of the franchise, which is both impressive and unimpressive. Watch for the action sequences as you struggle with an overly-long and tedious movie.